Monday, December 5, 2011

Assertion/Claim (Topic Sentence) = Main Idea
  • The legal driving age should be increased from 16 to 18.
Evidence -Concrete Detail:
  • Novice drivers haven't mastered basic motor skills that take time and training to develop than what can be taught and learned in a matter of just two years.
    • Commentary 1: Teenagers or more likely to get into traffic violations like speeding, tailgating, running red lights, etc.
    • Commentary 2:
  • Teenagers are less aware of the distractions and risks around the driving environment such as cell phones that might ring, the radio being too loud, what the passengers are doing.
    • Commentary 1: When a teenager transports passengers, the fatality risk of the teens increase by 360%. This goes for passengers who are peers of the teen driver because they might encourage taking more risks.
    • Commentary 2: Teenagers wear safety belts less often.
They say:
  • By increasing the driving limit, you take aways rights that have been given to teens for years.
  • Some teens have job they desperately need or their parents rely on them to drive themselves and siblings to and from school.
I say:
  • Over 50% of all sixteen year olds get some variation of a traffic accident or violation within three months of getting their license. If the limit is increased, it allows two more years of practice to ensure the safety of other drivers, the teens and the teen's parents' pocketbook.
  • In the case that teenagers must drive to a job or take sibilings to school, he/she my apply for a hardship license that will allow them to drive under the age of 18 only when it envolves one of the two duties stated above.

My Paragraph:

The legal driving age should be increased from 16 to 18. Novice drivers haven't mastered basic motor skills that take time and training to develop than what can be taught and learned in a matter of just two years. Teenagers or more likely to get into traffic violations like speeding, tailgating, running red lights, etc. They are less aware of the distractions and risks around the driving environment such as cell phones that might ring, the radio being too loud, what the passengers are doing. When a teenager transports passengers, the fatality risk of the teens increase by 360%. This goes for passengers who are peers of the teen driver because they might encourage taking more risks. Teenagers wear safety belts less often than older drivers.